Two-way counselling
In normal one-way counselling, you go to a professional counsellor for paid sessions.
In two-way counselling , people practice in pairs, taking turns to be both client and counsellor, and counsel on lighter matters. When some real need for counselling arises, then people have already learnt the skills for both roles, and hopefully have a two-way counselling relationship already set up.
I did a year of co-counselling in the Harvey Jackins school, in Fremantle, in 1992. This is a form of two-way counselling. I still have the manual, now on the internet, and some of it could be useful. We can combine this with “Basic Personal Counselling,” by David Geldard, a psychologist who trained many counsellors. We can combine these with your own experience at giving and receiving help with friends when some real problem is disrupting happiness and peace of mind.
Counselling can help on three different levels :
I have always found Harvey’s categorisation of emotional release very useful and revealing, especially outside the co-counselling environment -
1) Laughter, yawning, stretching and hot sweat discharge light fears
2) Cold sweat with trembling discharges life threatening fear
3) Stomping, thumping and yelling discharges a frustrated sense of injustice
4) Shaking with disgusted grimace discharges revulsion
5) Convulsive sobbing discharges grief
When we practice a genuine sense of empathy and warmth to eachother in the two-way counselling session, then we can nurture a good two-way counselling relationship based on respect and trust. Supportive listening, non-judgemental attention, interested and relaxed concern, these can all help lead the client to that safe space where discharge of old pain is possible. Or just to go into some deep difficulty that has been bothering you for a long time, but it never really felt safe to go into.
Since we are not professionally trained and experienced counsellors, we can practice and learn the skills of being a good client to help eachother in the difficult role of being the counsellor.
We can start with the easy material before attempting the heavy going stuff.
The good client is careful not burden their counsellor by “dumping their problems” on the counsellor. Rather, the good client remains mindful that they are approaching their “stuff”, and mindfully continues with a determination to seek solutions. In this, the good client remains willing to seek and receive guidance from their counsellor, to be steered away from the usual quagmires and towards a sense of release of the pain instead.
When we are well practiced in the skills of being a good client, then the two-way counselling relationship can be truly therapeutic.
In two-way counselling , people practice in pairs, taking turns to be both client and counsellor, and counsel on lighter matters. When some real need for counselling arises, then people have already learnt the skills for both roles, and hopefully have a two-way counselling relationship already set up.
I did a year of co-counselling in the Harvey Jackins school, in Fremantle, in 1992. This is a form of two-way counselling. I still have the manual, now on the internet, and some of it could be useful. We can combine this with “Basic Personal Counselling,” by David Geldard, a psychologist who trained many counsellors. We can combine these with your own experience at giving and receiving help with friends when some real problem is disrupting happiness and peace of mind.
Counselling can help on three different levels :
- : thoughts and thinking;
- behavioural adjustments;
- and in the emotional realm.
I have always found Harvey’s categorisation of emotional release very useful and revealing, especially outside the co-counselling environment -
1) Laughter, yawning, stretching and hot sweat discharge light fears
2) Cold sweat with trembling discharges life threatening fear
3) Stomping, thumping and yelling discharges a frustrated sense of injustice
4) Shaking with disgusted grimace discharges revulsion
5) Convulsive sobbing discharges grief
When we practice a genuine sense of empathy and warmth to eachother in the two-way counselling session, then we can nurture a good two-way counselling relationship based on respect and trust. Supportive listening, non-judgemental attention, interested and relaxed concern, these can all help lead the client to that safe space where discharge of old pain is possible. Or just to go into some deep difficulty that has been bothering you for a long time, but it never really felt safe to go into.
Since we are not professionally trained and experienced counsellors, we can practice and learn the skills of being a good client to help eachother in the difficult role of being the counsellor.
We can start with the easy material before attempting the heavy going stuff.
The good client is careful not burden their counsellor by “dumping their problems” on the counsellor. Rather, the good client remains mindful that they are approaching their “stuff”, and mindfully continues with a determination to seek solutions. In this, the good client remains willing to seek and receive guidance from their counsellor, to be steered away from the usual quagmires and towards a sense of release of the pain instead.
When we are well practiced in the skills of being a good client, then the two-way counselling relationship can be truly therapeutic.