Conflict Resolution.
Conflict and Anger.
A stable home and personal stability are both very important, and conflict damages this stability. Therefore we need effective ways to deal with conflict, anger and cold non-communication. I hope this composition will help.
Conflict can be frightening, and so there can be a temptation to resort to anger to protect oneself, or perhaps .... somehow “prove your a man.”
But remember our community rule –
“No harmful expressions of anger.”
This protective rule puts a necessary brake on the destructiveness of angry outbursts, and so creates a safety when people approach each other and Noldorath.
Anger gave men the strength needed for traditional combat, to protect the village, the cropping fields, and the women and children. Great strength and forcefulness was needed to wield the sword in defence of the homes.
But times have changed, and the anger we used to need is now more of a hindrance than a help is protecting the peace of our homes.
In Buddhist terms, restraint and damage control are the important things we need. Because it is pointless to tell people “Don't get angry”.
So if you do get upset, and anger does rush up, please don't assume that it's the end of your stay here. Just remove yourself from the provocation (it might be me!) and give yourself time for the anger to cool off. There's lots of open private space here.
Apology afterwards does take courage and , but it's well worth while. The forgiveness that can follow is very softening and healing.
Of course, all parties can participate, this of course includes me.
Perhaps we can sort it out. I hope so.
Cold Non-Communication.
This is far worse than hot angry outbursts, and much harder to deal with. This is the main reason for laying down the guiding principle -
A stable home and personal stability are both very important, and conflict damages this stability. Therefore we need effective ways to deal with conflict, anger and cold non-communication. I hope this composition will help.
Conflict can be frightening, and so there can be a temptation to resort to anger to protect oneself, or perhaps .... somehow “prove your a man.”
But remember our community rule –
“No harmful expressions of anger.”
This protective rule puts a necessary brake on the destructiveness of angry outbursts, and so creates a safety when people approach each other and Noldorath.
Anger gave men the strength needed for traditional combat, to protect the village, the cropping fields, and the women and children. Great strength and forcefulness was needed to wield the sword in defence of the homes.
But times have changed, and the anger we used to need is now more of a hindrance than a help is protecting the peace of our homes.
In Buddhist terms, restraint and damage control are the important things we need. Because it is pointless to tell people “Don't get angry”.
So if you do get upset, and anger does rush up, please don't assume that it's the end of your stay here. Just remove yourself from the provocation (it might be me!) and give yourself time for the anger to cool off. There's lots of open private space here.
Apology afterwards does take courage and , but it's well worth while. The forgiveness that can follow is very softening and healing.
Of course, all parties can participate, this of course includes me.
Perhaps we can sort it out. I hope so.
Cold Non-Communication.
This is far worse than hot angry outbursts, and much harder to deal with. This is the main reason for laying down the guiding principle -
- “Being Willing and Able to Maintain Good Relationships”